Tuesday, February 15, 2011
My New Agreement
The only way to create new habits is to lay down new tracks in your brain. To think differently requires you to act differently. Start new practices. In a paragraph, explain a new agreement you will make to yourself and practice everyday that will allow you to live Amor Fati. It won't happen by listening to the topic in class or watching a film. Read two other people's agreement.
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So much of my day is dedicated to what I have to do for others. Whether it be running errands, doing work on my house, helping my dad. Over the weekend I took a long bike ride along the bay, I didnt bring my phone, I just took a few hours to enjoy my sunday. What I would like to start doing now is maybe just a couple times a week riding my bike to a new location, somewhere I may have only driven before, or to go to the city for a bit. Instead of just listening to music in my hammock whenever I get free time.
A new agreement I wish to pursue for myself is to run every weekend, and eat less junk-food. Even though it is difficult for me to do both these things, I believe it is necessary for myself and my baseball team. It's important for the team to have as many athletes as possible, and I wish to contribute in every way possible. Not only is my new agreement for the baseball team, but it is for myself. Being in top-notch shape will help me in numerous aspects. I know it will be difficult, but I know I will literally love myself for doing it in the long run.
My new agreement with myself is to spend more time and energy reaching out to my brother. We have always been close, but recently he has been making some decisions that I do not approve of and has pushed our family to the side. I have spent awhile moping and feeling hurt but I have realized that if I do not make an effort, I will no longer have him in my life the way I am used to. He is my family and my friend and I am not willing to lose him, so I am going to contact him at least once a week and make sure he is okay.
Right now my future in the sport i love is being brought into question due to medical reasons. This started yesterday and up to this point Ive been looking at the sitiuation as a complete negative and keep thinking about the future if I it is decided I can no longer play instead of being in the present and doing more to fix the problem.
My new agreement is the embrace my failures. Like Nietzsche says we have to look at our failures not at how bad we have done but how much better we can do. By failing we are able to see the bottom and once we succeed the top feels so much better. If I am born with everything in the world it doesn't mean anything to me but if I fail and lose everything and have to earn it back everything that i get back will feel so much better because i know what it feels like to have nothing.
My new agreement is to think that everyday not only has the potential to be a great day but will be a great day. As long as I have a positive attitude and change the way I view school I can commit to my agreement. There are so many days that I dread going to school. Why? Because I think it is going to be boring. But if I start believing that I can get something out of school and enjoy my time then school days suddenly don't sound so bad. I want to start having great days everyday and it starts with how I look at my day.
An agreement to myself is going to be something that I don't normally do. Something that will be a challenge but yet something that I know I can take on. Taking time for myself. My life is so busy every single day that I never find myself taking time. I have learned from this class that taking time is an important factor in ones daily routine. I plan to take a few minutes in the morning before I get out of bed or before I go to sleep at night. I believe that even if I end up not fulfilling this agreement everyday that because I set the agreement I will tend to accomplish the agreement more often then not.
I am agreeing to embrace and appreciate my failures, rather than try to avoid and conceal them. Getting everything without a struggle is not as satisfying as accomplishing your goals after failing. Reading the two analytic essays I learned that accepting my failures will ultimately benefit me more than cursing them, and that to live a truly great life I must escape the fear of failing that limits me.
A problem that I've had for quite some time is not speaking my mind. I keep a lot of my thoughts and ideas inside instead of vocalizing my opinion probably because of the fear of being judged or being wrong. My new agreement is to speak out and share my thoughts.
My new agreement to myself is to try to change the way I look at hardships. When I fail at something I am always frustrated and upset because I feel unaccomplished. As if this failure defines who I am and also what I am capable of. I will try to see these hardships as not a burden but as a way that I can better equipped to deal with these situations down the road in life. This agreement would benefit my life by showing me that life has all kinds of ups and downs, but its how you deal with them that shows you what type of person you really are.
One of the things that I agree to is to look at life positively. I agree to literally love every single person in my life for who they are. Look for the good in people, and to find excuses to laugh and smile with them. I agree to start my days without any attachment to what happened the day before, to remember that every day, every moment has the potential for me to prove myself to me. I agree to not gossip, hate, or lie. I agree to fill my world with the positiveness and open mindedness I want to get in return. Most of all I agree to look at all the things that have brought me down in the past as the blessings that has let me deepen my understanding about the world I am in.
I will start only living for today instead of worrying about the next day or week because it only stresses me out and clogs my brain.
An agreement that I have is keeping my comments to myself, because a lot of the time they hurt others feelings. In my attempt to accept my fate, I must try to become better my chance of being nice and being aware of others feelings. Accepting my fate, is embracing the challenges that I have a know that a new agreement with myself is what will allow me to have amor fati.
My new agreement for myself is to be excited to go to school for this last semester of high school and to have a more optimistic approach. A lot of the time I dread going to school, for waking up early in the morning and going through classes I don't appreciate. But if I can change my outlook on school and how to experience it, then I can in turn be a happier person. I don't care as much about chasing letter grades. I'm more into knowledge now regardless of the grade. With this agreement, I can enrich my last few months at St. Mary's and make it worthwhile. My agreement can lead to a better way of looking at things down the road in college.
I vow to stay true to myself. I will not keep secrets from myself anymore. Recently I have not been myself and I do not want to lose who I really am inside because I am afraid of judgment. I'm scared but the satisfaction of telling the truth will be refreshing.
My new agreement with myself, is to go into everyday with a positve attitude. There are always those days when we dont want to go to school, or wake up. But Im going to embrace these days and try and work through the class.
My new agreement is to be more active in my lifestyle, and cut alot of this digital lifestyle. More journeys, because the past couple weeks ive been slipping a lil bit.
Goals::
Minimize computer, tv, internet, facebook.
Be more productive in dance and life
go hard in the paint
AC hills
I agree take a few hours a week to learn how to do things that will benefit me in the future. For example, reading faster so I can keep up with the college pace. Learning a new language and learning to be charismatic for I when want to be an entrepreneur.
My agreement to myself is to finish whatever I start and to work just as hard in the end as in the beginning. Whether it is in academics or in working out I always tend to start extremely strong in the beginning and die off in the end. When I'm writing essays I start off well and die off and get lazy as the paper goes on. When I work out my muscles are fresh and lift hard but as the workout goes on I tend to get lazy and not finish my reps. I need to be able to have the mindset and work hard from the beginning to end and finish everything I start strong.
My new agreement is to stop being so hard on myself whenever i fail. Im not perfect and nobody else is, so theres no reason for me to be hard on myself when i do fail. An upside to failing is that you get to reflect on what yu did wrong and prepare for success.
One new agreement I have made for myself is to ignore the "cronies of society" that constantly challenge my emotional responses. There have been numerous times within my years at St.Mary's that I have been ridiculed for my appearance, behavior, just who I am entirely. It was just last semester when I couldn't go anywhere on campus without overhearing rude comments about my appearance or hear laughs or simply have eyes look through me or away from me as if I didn't exist. This was very difficult for me to deal with and took a great toll on my emotions as well as my focus on grades. By winter break i learned that others opinions are futile and, quite frankly, simple ignorance. I'd taken so much time worrying about the gossip and comments that my life had become nothing more than a stressful, judging world that I had to live through alone. Taking the time to enjoy my vacation with old friends and dress however I wanted brought me back to being the carefree person I always was, not caring about people that don't deserve to be cared for. Now, I have a great time with friends nearly everyday and take the time to be myself.
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